she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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