Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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