she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
