I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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