Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
