He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
