Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
