The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
