I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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