I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
