I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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