so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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