Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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