Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
