You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
