He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
