I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
