i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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