yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
