Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
