I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
