he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
