I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize