He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
