I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
