why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
