I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
