I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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