batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
