I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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