dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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