We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
