My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
