I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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