why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
