butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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