Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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