would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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