I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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