yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
