How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
