my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
