If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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