youre lurking in front of me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
