The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think I just sharted jello shots
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