Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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