I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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