Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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