So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
