did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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